Leo’s travel journal

Leo’s travel journal and other juicy bits…

How To Be A Good Hotelier

with one comment

A Hotelier must be a diplomat, a democrat, an autocrat, an acrobat, and a doormat.

He must have the facility to entertain Prime Ministers, princes of industry, pickpockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists, popsies and prudes.

He must be on both sides of the political fence, and be able to jump that fence.

Richard Ball, Chairman of the Master Innholders and Managing Director of Calcot Manor, has been announced as Hotelier of the Year 2006.
He should be, or have been, a footballer, golfer, bowler, tennis player, cricketer, darts player, sailor, pigeon fancier, motor racer and linguist, as well as have a good knowledge of any other sport involving dice, cards, horse racing and billiards.

This is most useful, as he has sometimes to settle arguments and squabbles. He must, therefore, be a qualified boxer, wrestler, weight-lifter, sprinter and peacemaker.


He must always look immaculate, when drinking with the ladies and gentlemen mentioned in the second paragraph, as well as bankers, swankers, theatricals, commercial travellers and company representatives – even though he has just made peace between any of the two, four, six or more of the aforementioned patrons.

To be successful, an hotelier must keep the bar full, the house full, the store rooms full, the wine cellar full, the customers full, and not get full himself.

He must have staff who are clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers, non-drinkers, mathematicians, technicians, and at all times on the boss’s side, the customer’s side, and stay on the outside of the bar.

To sum up: The hotelier must be outside, inside, offside, glorified, sanctified, crucified, stupefied, cross-eyed – and if he is not the strong, silent type, there is always suicide.

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Written by Leo

12 April 2007 at 16:55

Posted in My Thoughts

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One Response

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  1. this is one heck of an interesting post. now i regret not becoming a hotelier. wasted a good 4 years studying hospitality *sigh*but the hotel industry can be really really sucky at times aye. you’re not in the hotel line now, are you? heard from Cavin you’re in some S&M line?

    Julie

    17 April 2007 at 11:42


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